In reverse order of importance:
There was an awards show for some people named Oscar.
From the “What Could Go Wrong” department: Scientists have given rats implants that allow them to communicate telepathically.
TERRIFYING NEWS OF THE WEEK: A Florida man perished after a sinkhole opened without warning under his house and sucked him under.
Italy held an election which apparently resulted in political gridlock. There are still lots of headlines about high unemployment and the need for more budget cuts to deal with high debt loads in the euro zone, but things still generally seem to be in the zombie staggering phase crisis-wise.
NOT FROM THE ONION: Dennis Rodman (!) went to North Korea (!!) to engage in “basketball diplomacy” (!!!) with Kim Jong-Un (!!!!). Maybe calling the dictator of the most brutal regime in the world “awesome” will somehow help open his eyes to the wonders of freedom and democracy.
Apparently an NYPD officer lied under oath to prosecute an Occupy activist who was only acquitted after video evidence proved that the officer was lying.
The Supreme Court refused to hear a case that might have limited secret government surveillance.
LOTS OF SPACE NEWS: The Curiosity rover’s computer crashed so they’re working on using the backup computer. NASA revealed some stuff about black hole spin. NASA also discovered a third radiation belt around Earth. After overcoming some initial problems, SpaceX successfully delivered its cargo to the ISS. India launched an asteroid-hunting satellite. US and Europe announced a joint plan to test knocking an asteroid out of its orbit in 2022. And there’s a small chance that a newly-discovered comet will crash into Mars in 2014.
THE SEQUESTER HAPPENED. THE 2.3% CUT TO THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT BUDGET RESULTED IN MUCH WAILING AND GNASHING OF TEETH.