Well I missed this last week, but no one seemed to complain so I didn’t feel too bad. But I still have this list of news articles from the last couple of weeks, so here goes a Double Edition of Last Weeks’ News….
In reverse order of importance:
Millions of teenagers broke up with their (in)significant others last month. Two of these teenagers were named Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez.
Scientists discovered a new dinosaur species called Xenoceratops. (Does anyone else think a Jurassic Park remake looks more inevitable every day?)
Curiosity the Mars Rover took a sniff of the Martian atmosphere and apparently found no methane, which is apparently bad news for those hoping we’ll discover life there, though it’s perhaps good news for those terrified that we might.
A man climbed a Chicago skyscraper with a bionic leg. From the headline I thought maybe he scaled it from the outside, but it sounds like he “just” took the stairs. Still, not bad for a prosthetic “CONTROLLED BY HIS MIND.”
Disney bought Star Wars and announced a new trilogy, ensuring that our children will be able to experience the bitter disappointment of new franchise installments just like we did.
CIA chief General Petraeus resigned after admitting to having sex with his biographer. Strangely enough, the revelation came out the same day a movie about a spy who has sex with women released in the US. Even more strangely, the revelation came a few days before Petraeus was scheduled to testify to Congress about Benghazi…
Hurricane Sandy hit the East Coast, burdening millions of citizens with shortages of electricity, gasoline, and wise decisions from local politicians.
AMERICA VOTED and not much changed, though there were a few encouraging victories for people who like small government and stuff like that.
Unemployment in Greece reached another record and citizens rioted as lawmakers approved another austerity package. Things are looking pretty bad over there.
Syria’s infighting is still going on, and Israel is the latest border country to fire back at some shells that spilled over the border. Things are looking pretty bad over there, too…
Apparently Jurassic Park 4 has been in the works for a few years,
Apparently Jurassic Park 4 has been in the works for a few years,