Everything You Need to Know About Last Week’s News #36

In reverse order of importance:

Some cult classic TV show called Veronica Mars raised millions of dollars on Kickstarter to become a movie.

Google killed the RSS star.

Conservaties had a conference thing called CPAC where they talked about conservative things. Hipsters had a conference thing called SXSW where they talked about hipster things.

North Korea callled off the armistice that ended the Korean War – again. So far I think little Kimmy is just trying to rattle all the sabres his father rattled; when he steps over a new line, I’ll start getting scared.

Maryland became the 18th state to abolish the death penalty. On the other end of life, North Dakota is one governor’s signature away from banning abortions after a heartbeat is detected.

A New York judge struck down Nanny Bloomberg’s Big Soda Ban a day before it went into effect. The right to drink unhealthy soda remains, for now.

Two positive court rulings for federal transparency this week. A federal judge said national security letters with gag orders were unconstitutional, and a federal appeals court said the CIA must at least disclose some drone records to someone. The “most transparent administration in history” just got a little more transparent.

WE HAVE A NEW POPE. HIS NEW NAME IS FRANCIS. He takes the bus instead of the popemobile; sounds like a nice guy.

Syria’s top general defected, but it’s been awhile since we heard about such defections, and the civil war is still raging.

Cyprus became the fifth European country to seek a bank bailout, but Cypriot depositors are the first to be told they might not get all their money back. Supposedly lots of Russian mobsters and middle-class Cypriots keep their money there, and they’re not exactly happy; Cypriot bank holidays are being extended to try to stop Cypriot bank runs before Cypriot politicians can be convinced to accept the Cypriot deal. Things are complicated but have the potential to get scary and tilt the unstable EU back into crisis mode. Meanwhile, I learned that things pertaining to Cyprus are called “Cypriot,” and I think that’s a pretty neat word.